Time will tell

I've had to remind Senile Technician, again, that we really need to start building our time machine soon, or that unexpected amylase we found in the fridge will never materialise.


You see, Senile Technician writes the delivery date on all the chemicals and stuff we buy, and a few years ago, when we all thought we couldn't do an enzyme experiment because we didn't have any in-date amylase, a small tub of the staff (labelled up June 2018) turned up in our fridge to save the day. Well, technically it didn't save the day as the experiment still didn't work, but enzyme experiments never work, do they?

The point is, this was indisputable evidence that this year we must build a time machine to send the amylase back to ourselves.

I've been reading up on the subject. Despite the fact I'm a sloth, I really enjoyed: How to Teach Relativity to you Dog, by Chad Ozel. And I  read Brian Cox's, Why does E=mc2, which was also good (although I'm considering writing to Professor Cox to suggest he changes the title to How to Teach Relativity to your Sloth). And finally I'm half way through Steven Hawkins, A Brief history of Time (the illustrated version), although reading this is just a formality as I'm convinced I can solve the problems of bending space, light speed and time cones with a couple of magnets, that dodgy Van-de-Graaff that needs fixing, and an old microscope box. All that I need to complete the design is a frogger, which at the moment I can't seem to find. I think Senile Technical has misfiled it somewhere (I doubt she even knows what it's for). I do hope Evil Technician hasn't thrown it out by mistake on purpose.

Thinking of Evil Technician, it has occurred to me that perhaps we don't build our time machine this year at all. Perhaps we build it years in the future, then Evil Technical finds some really old out-of-date amylase from the future fridge and sends that back instead. No wonder the enzyme experiment didn't work! She really is a menace.